Shopping Cart
Your Cart is Empty
Quantity:
Subtotal
Taxes
Shipping
Total
There was an error with PayPalClick here to try again
CelebrateThank you for your business!You should be receiving an order confirmation from Paypal shortly.Exit Shopping Cart

Mercy Christian Counseling

NCCA Licensed Clinical Pastoral Counseling with Temperament

Counselor's Corner

Counselor's Corner

The Rule of Church

Posted by mercycounseling on July 29, 2021 at 9:40 AM

The Rule of Church

 

Recently a client expressed how phony and guilty she felt regarding her church experience. The gist of the guilt feelings had to do with expectations laid down by church leadership toward church members that my client felt herself at odds with. After more than a decade of membership, my client was feeling the toll of trying to live what felt like a double life. The situation was causing her to doubt her faith and affect her marriage and family. She was frustrated because she could not motivate her spouse to “keep the rules” when she herself was not able to crack the whip due to a new work schedule. It turns out that he disagreed with the rules and avoided them when he could. She came to me seeking answers and relief.

 

After a short discussion, I realized that my client was struggling with church culture, not biblical instruction. The particular “rule” causing problems for her had to do with the cultural value and expectation that church members would be at church every time the doors were open. She referred to this norm as “three to thrive.” Before she started a new job, she saw to it that her family met this expectation “religiously.” With Sunday work now required of her such that she could not always attend church, she tried to keep her family in compliance with this rule, but to no avail, leaving her feeling frustrated, anxious, and guilty. She was in terrible bondage to the rules of man!

 

We examined what the Bible says about attendance. Nowhere in the Bible does it lay down a commandment for the frequency of church attendance. It shows that Christians typically met on the first day of the week (Acts 20:7), and that we are not to forsake assembling with other believers (Hebrews 10:25).

 

Three to thrive is just one example of cultural norms that are not biblical; there are many others that one may encounter. Most are simply embedded in a particular church’s culture.

 

Every church develops a specific culture that makes a congregation unique. It is a function of both church teaching and group dynamics. Traditions of the denomination also come into play. Fitting in is important to maintain unity and peace, which are biblical principles (Titus 3:9; Ephesians 4:1-6). However, being fully grounded in the scriptures is needed so that you can understand what is truly biblical and what is merely cultural. With that knowledge, one can make a reasoned choice whether to continue in a particular church.

 

In my opinion, if non-biblical church expectations are leaving you feeling defeated, guilty, angry, frustrated . . . and if you find yourself feeling judged and rejected because of an inability or unwillingness to meet the cultural expectations . . . it may be time to move on. But before you do, I urge you to speak frankly with your pastor about what you are feeling. It may not be the pastor’s intention to have you feel that way at all.

 

You also need to ask yourself if your discomfort is grounded in truth or assumption. Many people with certain temperament types just naturally tend to see rejection but this is often only in their mind. That’s why communication is so important. Good communication can help you sort out perception versus reality.

 

 

Jesus Christ’s death and resurrection were meant to set us free from the old covenant law, sin, and death. Understanding the cultural norms of your church as compared to scriptural commands is paramount to experiencing healthy church membership. Armed with knowledge of both, you will find peace.

 

“Therefore, if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.” (John 8:36)

 

Stand on His promises and truth! Blessings to you!

 

 

Categories: None

Post a Comment

Oops!

Oops, you forgot something.

Oops!

The words you entered did not match the given text. Please try again.

Already a member? Sign In

2161 Comments

Reply movekappa
1:32 AM on February 1, 2023 
tj watt jersey cheap for cheap coach legacy vintage elite eric weddle mens jersey san diego chargers 32 c patch alternate electric blue nfl oakland athletics baseball cap uk job pittsburgh pirates desert camo hat kit adidas predator zones
movekappa http://www.movekappa.com/
Reply cosmotelogy
10:55 PM on January 31, 2023 
luka doncic jersey rookie of the year moncler fragment varsity jacket new york rangers nhl t shirts prada re edition 2000 authentic spongebob slip on 2020 jordan sneakers
cosmotelogy http://www.cosmotelogy.com/
Reply RobertMut
10:32 PM on January 31, 2023 
keflex price canada
Reply coobbynup
7:38 PM on January 31, 2023 
We expect our findings to offer important insights for future policy efforts intended to further reduce costs for Medicare beneficiaries and to better clarify the role that GDDPs are likely to play in insurance cost sharing and formulary structure where to buy lasix water pill
Reply mseteit
1:55 PM on January 31, 2023 
women nike eagles 13 nelson agholor black alternate nfl vapor untouchable limited jersey elite brian quick mens jersey st. louis rams 83 grey shadow nfl kobe 8 christmas white black red boston red sox ladies hats zillow ccm vintage jerseys for cheap jonathan simkhai black lace dress
mseteit http://www.mseteit.com/
Reply osterwoche
6:02 AM on January 31, 2023 
1979 pittsburgh pirates pillbox hat nc mama oversized t shirt adidas yeezy 750 boost triple black online for cheap michael kors 2 zipper wallet cute first baby outfit long sleeve fitted polo shirts
osterwoche http://www.osterwoche.net/
Reply lebfun
2:51 AM on January 31, 2023 
birthday party look for mom buccaneers antonio brown jersey moncler jacket kids rick owens tonopah jacket gilbert arenas gold jersey white broderie anglaise embroidered mini dress
lebfun http://www.lebfun.com/
Reply sealtemporda
2:27 AM on January 31, 2023 
prada black bucket hat sleeveless blouses for ladies air max wolf grey baby girl lavender dress miami heat jersey butler balabio moncler
sealtemporda http://www.sealtemporda.net/
Reply RodneyGag
1:57 AM on January 31, 2023 
viagra for sale mexico
Reply RonaldGophy
1:28 AM on January 31, 2023 
doxycycline tetracycline doxycycline 100mg
https://zithromax.science/# where can you buy zithromax
zithromax for sale zithromax z-pak
Reply milumba
11:46 PM on January 30, 2023 
jordan 1 equality 2019 golden bulls jersey burgundy moncler nets free kyrie jersey shawn kemp jersey cavs adidas boost slippers
milumba http://www.milumba.com/
Reply Ralphunamb
11:33 PM on January 30, 2023 
minocycline rash ivermectin 3mg tablets price or ivermectin cream uk
http://winmedicine.net/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=stromec
tol.science minocycline 100mg pills online
ivermectin drug oral ivermectin cost and stromectol tablets 3 mg buy minocycline online
Reply spagazer
4:55 PM on January 30, 2023 
pandora jewelry heart necklace the hundreds hat rose 10 nike air jordan 14 black and grey nike dunk high prm sb diamond star wars hat knitting pattern new air jordan 31 red and red
spagazer http://www.spagazer.com/
Reply balazskoren
8:29 AM on January 30, 2023 
christian louis vuitton booties la costa polo shirts mumu dress fat lady cover of vivo y30 walmart gowns plus size cheap team hats
balazskoren http://www.balazskoren.com/
Reply edcialistop
5:23 AM on January 30, 2023 
christian louis vuitton booties la costa polo shirts mumu dress fat lady cover of vivo y30 walmart gowns plus size cheap team hats
edcialistop http://www.edcialistop.net/
Reply tiopepi
2:07 AM on January 30, 2023 
pink sparkling crown solitaire ring pandora crocs pearlridge colts shirts amazon long sleeve lamar jackson jersey oakley airbrake mx black ray ban rb3364 polarized
tiopepi http://www.tiopepi.net/
Reply KiaEmema
11:39 PM on January 29, 2023 
dapoxetine 30mg
Reply vicksfabs
7:36 PM on January 29, 2023 
nike free 5.0 v2 flyknit men white blue air jordan 10 retro rio shoe which heels have red soles elite kiko alonso womens jersey buffalo bills 50 home royal blue nfl mismatched jordan 1 low
vicksfabs http://www.vicksfabs.com/
Reply DarrylDaymn
4:33 PM on January 29, 2023 
ivermectin uk how to get toradol propecia coupon buspirone 10 mg order propecia online india
Reply RonaldGophy
4:22 PM on January 29, 2023 
can you buy zithromax over the counter cheap zithromax
https://stromectol.science/# ivermectin 3mg price
minocycline 50 mg without a doctor ivermectin goodrx